â€œUnderstanding Enabling from a Recovering Addicts Perspectiveâ€ is to help families to understand the “Four Emotions an Addict uses to cause People to Enable Them”.Â It seeks to show how enabling addiction can affect their loved ones. A part of our Intervention Video Response Series, which answers questions emailed in from families in need of help, this particular response is to help a family that has one family member that is enabling and won’t stop.Â David Lee, Founder of Intervention Services tries to explain Enabling from the perspective of a recovering ex-addict or substance abuser.
Dear Intervention Services
I hope you can help me and my family. We are in desperate need of help and my brother’s addiction is tearing our life apart. My brother is 32 years old, addicted to cocaine and he doesn’t even have a job. He’s living at my parents house, stealing money from them and they don’t stop it. He says that he wants to quit and that he’s going to get a job but he’s been saying that for years.
This is killing me to watch my brother do this to my family. I know that this is destroying my parents marriage as well. Dad wants to kick him out but mom won’t let him. My brother has stolen thousands of dollars from them, and the money they’ve saved for retirement is getting wasted on a drug addict who says he’ll quit but never does.
We’ve tried to talk to Mom about her enabling, but she says she’ll never throw her son out to die. My parents fight all the time now, and Dad just told me that he’s probably going to leave if things don’t change.
How can we talk to Mom about her enabling. She isn’t helping my brother, she is giving him all her money, and their marriage is going to end if she doesn’t stop. What can we say to get Mom to stop enabling?
A Loving Sister
Video Response Series
If you or someone you know could benefit from a more detailed explanation about something that you have been struggling with, please call anytime and we will be committed to helping you in your situation.
All responses are delivered in a way as to respect your confidence.