Releasing Resentment Allows You Move On
Many people believe that releasing resentment is the key to happiness. This is easier said than done. In the world of addiction, resentment is seen as the number one cause of a relapse. So addicts and people dealing with mental issues are told that releasing resentment towards others will benefit them in the long run. While I agree with this statement, no one ever really explains just how you are supposed to go about releasing these resentment issues that you have built up over time. This is not a simple “just let it go” matter. Resentment latches onto you and will not let go. Resentment can literally ruin your life, while the person you are resentful towards is not affected at all.
Holding resentment towards others is allowing them to live rent free in your head. Think about it, if you spend so much time hating and being resentful towards someone else, do you really have time to think about things you enjoy. Another reason to get rid of resentment is that you may not see it, but resentment ruins your mood towards completing other fun activities. If you are constantly thinking in a negative manner, chances are it will not be easy to just have fun when the resentment is always in the back of your mind. This is why so many addicts with resentment relapse. They become so angry and negative, that they resort back to their drug of choice to get their minds off of the issue at hand.
So how does releasing resentment work? There are a variety of methods that can be used to release resentment. Here are just a few that might work for you.
Set Healthy Boundaries
By setting healthy boundaries, you are not allowing yourself to get worked up over certain situations. Let’s say you are holding resentment towards a coworker in your office. While some people are instigators and button pushers, you need to assess the situation and see what is really going on. Why are you holding resentment towards this person? You have to answer that question in a truthful manner. Remember, you cannot change how someone else acts. If the real reason you are holding resentment towards someone is because of their bad personality take the necessary steps to fix this situation. You could talk to a manger or boss about their behavior and how they are making you feel. Do not bottle these emotions up, because they will only eat away at you.
A lot of people hold resentments towards how much other people make and how much work they actually do. Money does seem to create fights and resentment all the time. If you are in this situation, address it from a clear state of mind. If you feel you should be earning more money than someone who is doing half the work that you are doing address this issue with your boss immediately. Before you address this issue with your boss try the second method of releasing resentment.
Place Yourself In The Other Person’s Position
This may be difficult to do, but it is necessary. In order to assess the situation from a mature level, you need to see their side too. So, for the above example, if you feel like you are putting in more effort into you job and getting paid less, figure out exactly what your tasks are and what the other persons tasks are. If you truly believe that you should be making more money or that the other person is not working as much as they should be, address this with your boss. If your boss does not agree with your point of view, looking for another position with another company may be your best bet. You cannot allow your resentment to keep growing, it will only lead to self destruction.
By blocking negative thoughts and other people’s negative thoughts or attitudes you allow yourself to release stress. If someone around is always negative, simply distance yourself from them. If you are having negative thoughts figure out why you are and try to combat it. When you do something that makes you happy, it is hard to get mad and resentful. If something it irritating you, play with your pet, watch a funny video, or do anything that makes you happy and move past the negative thoughts.
As mentioned before, do not hold your emotions in. Venting is very healthy. Find someone or multiple people in your life that you can vent to and also that can vent to you if they need help. By doing this you are creating a support group for each other. They may offer you advice and support and you may do the same for them. Having someone to vent to, without being judged will help you relieve a lot of stress in your life.
So next time you feel the resentment creeping up on you, try some of these methods to help you through it.